PAX East 2015

Went to bed Wednesday night, but couldn’t go to bed until 3AM Thursday morning. I woke up at 6 AM ready to embark on my journey to Boston for PAX East 2015. I drove to the Atlanta Airport. While waiting for my flight I saw the Bit Brigade again.

I had fears of PAX of super shitty weather. Like if there was a another horrible snowstorm, but none of that happened.

When Chris and I landed in the airport we got to meet Richard Colina. Afterwards we got a cab and proceeded to get fucked hard. Airport to the Westin by the BCEC. Instead he drove us to the Westin by the Hynes. What was supposed to be $21 was a $47.70.

Luckily the anger went away after playing some tabletop games. Rich, Chris, and I joined Bryant, Will, Hutch, and Jay for a game of Dredd’s Chest. It’s a game that is up to 9 players, and the purpose is to have the most gold coins, and not have the black abyss coin and win. There is 9 ranking positions, and they go in order from Captain to Cabin Boy. The game ends when there is no gold coins to draw out of the bag. Players can steal coins from other players and use cards to counteract stealing. Rich manage to win Dredd’s chest. Rich chose the female pilot because he viewed himself as a pretty lady.

The second game we played was Cosmic Encounters. It was complicated. There was over 100 different races to play as. The most number of players/races was 7. Each race had 5 planets with 4 ships. The goal was to be the first race to colonize 5 planets. There was a joke that the blacks had their own planet. I was purple. I was constantly getting screwed by Will. His mirror ablility prevented me from ever winning a battle. I was constantly being betrayed by my friends and my planets were invaded. My reward cards weren’t that great, and I was playing a game that I only had 10% understanding of. The other more experienced tabletop players tried so hard not to let each other win, Chris Ott manage to sneak out with the win. During Cosmic Encounters, I was drinking a mix drink called the Smash Brothers. Hutch was spilling more and more alcohol as the night went on.

FRIDAY

Friday Morning Chris Ott, and I woke up early and got outside the con at 7:40AM. Instead of going to the show floor we just walked around the convention seeing the theatre rooms and hallways before they get jammed packed. At that time the wi-fi was great before 25,000 people come in with 3 wi-fi devices a piece. I used the guidebook QRcode for the easy PAX XP but then fell short 4 codes, but I wasn’t going to go out of my way to find them. I saw some of the new special memory foam chairs which were awesome. You could sit on them and lean back and they still retain their shape.

After walking around the show floor I met up with Willy and Alex. Alex went his seperate way. Willy and I were now waiting in the queue line for the expo hall. Someone drew a giant cock on the beachball. It always happens to every beachball at PAX. You got to see the cock spin into the sky when it was spiked. There was the 5 people who didn’t give a shit and kept getting constantly hit in the fucking face by the beach balls. I was aware of the beachballs and I only got to hit the beachball once. That’s how it works.

Walking around the show floor for PAX East 2015 was the most disappointing East show floor of the 5 I’ve attended. There was no AAA game present on the show floor. It was the biggest show floor in total space but the lamest. Instead of games, the Food Court encroached on the show floor. 505 Games didn’t make it and in its place was tables and chairs in the middle of the expo hall. Besides F2P, the livestreaming, and anything related to Online Gaming personalities were drastically expanded. Twitch will be #1 for the loudest booth on the show floor. WE GOT THAT $970 MILLION AMAZON MONEY!

Willy was in his cosplay as Trevor from GTA V. When a person knew who Willy cosplayed as the first things out of their mouth was “I hate GTA V, I really fucking hate Trevor” Willy cosplayed for Trevor for 3 hours and never again.

The Swag bags are now sadbags. It came with a box of Magic cards with usually happens. 1 card a piece from Superfight and Never Have I ever in place of Cards Against Humanity. The rest was filled with headset advertisements. Instead of 4 years in a row of Behemoth lanyards all the lanyards provided were by Ubisoft. Which is strange since this was the first year Ubisoft skipped out at PAX East.

The layout of the vendors was not that well organized. Videogame apparel booths were all over the place than in one easy section of the show floor. Walking across the skybridge the show floor looked more boring and sad.

Some of the cool things at PAX was the Soda Drinker Pro booth, and their specialty Bonus Sodas. I loved the Bonus Sodas so much I bought 6 the first day, and 5 a piece for the next 2 days totaling 16. They said I was the #1 Soda Drinker Pro. I got a T-shirt after the 10th one due to how many sodas I drank. Nearby the Soda Drinker Pro booth was the Sumthing Audio which sold videogame soundtracks. I bought a lot of soundtracks. I bought the Deus Ex Human Revolution, Mass Effect 1, Uncharted 2, Halo, Halo 3, Halo Reach, Halo ODST, and Metal Gear Revengence soundtrack. All 8 soundtracks for $20. It blew my mind.

When you are drinking 6 sodas a day there is a reverse. If you are a Soda Drinker Pro, you will be a Soda Pisser Pro. At game conventions, it’s the only time men will have to wait at a public restroom. One time I wanted to piss, but I got piss fright. I manage to pee, but my urethra was as thin as it could be. That was a long 90 second piss. Worse pissing experience of PAX East. If you thought the pissing was bad oh god the pooping. The lint, pube, and dust of 1000 of pants making contact with the toliet every day for the next 3 days. One poop when it made contact looked like a candycane. Another poop looked like I was making clay for the French Open. Those were the most memorable of my pooping and pissing stories at this years PAX, now back to the regular programming.

Willy, Alex, Chris, and I got to talk to Brett Elston.

After walking around the show floor I went to the Jamspace area set up by Magfest. I proceeded to play some Vanessa Carlton’s 1000 miles. Some Blink 182 What’s my Age again, and some Smashmouth All Star. When I played some Kirby Gorumet Race, Dom from Magfest sprinted to the drums to drop some sick beats to the Gorumet Race. It was awesome. After jamming I walked to get something to eat and saw Will and Bryant from Thursday night at the Rock Band freeplay area.

I went to the first round of the Omegathon panel. The game was Geometry Wars. One of the matches was rough. The blue team was ahead, and the red team used the freeze powerup. The red team came from behind with a massive combo and beat blue team in the final 15 seconds.

For lunch I had a $8 Chicken Caesar Salad. There was no dressing. I ate it plain and the soggy croutons. I didn’t want to wait in line a long time.

Around 6PM I met Alex at the lobby and said there was a Gaming event going on at Guilt. It was a gay bar which made someone in the group iffy. I wanted to see the Just Cause 3 panel. The Just Cause 3 panel was okay. Even though it was cool there was the creative director and lead directors of their fields as panelists, nothing new was teased, and did nothing to change my outlook on the game. At the end they raffled off two prizes of a mega Avalanche Prize Pack. so 99.5% of the audience won nothing. Alex said the party was a lot of fun and there was no gays and free food. I should have gone to that party. It would have been better than the $7 hot dogs, $10 burgers, and $7 cracker thin pizza.

After the Just Cause 3 panel, Willy went his seperate way. Chris Ott and I went down to Jamspace to watch Mega Ran perform with Storyteller. Mega Ran did Prince of Bel-Air, Splashwoman, Forever, and Avalanche.

Friday night the last meal was the sad burritos. $9.50 for a burrito made like a Moe’s or Chipotle, but it tasted like it came right out of Jose Ole microwaved asshole. Depressing, yet filling in the worse way. It complemented depression. It was the most segregated burrito I ever ate. Top was nothing but sour cream. The lettuce didn’t kick in until the 3rd bite. Then no meat until the 6th bite. The rice was so dry. The tiny meat. If I was fed my own dick it would be more filling. The last 3 bites was nothing but jalapenos.

Friday night, Rich, Chris, and I got back in a cab and headed off to sleep. Rich didn’t want to be at the con until 10AM. What a lame-o.

SATURDAY

I woke up at 6:50 AM. I had my 7 hours of sleep. More than adequate for PAX.

The first panel I went to was Awesome Video Game Data 2015 presented by EEDAR President Zatkin. He shared about the whaling markets on F2P models of similarities and differences on mobile and PC. The influence of Steam on the PC market, and how many games get released on Steam on a yearly basis. The percentage of people who play games and it’s reaching a gender parity. Another small topic that was covered is that everyone is getting old. Review scores still matter but being a 90+ metacritic no longer matters as much. A lot of neat data was shared. The rise of twitch, and live streaming as another thing EEDAR is keeping track of besides games, and games releasing.  The successes and predominately failures of Kickstarter.

I went to the end of the Panel Simulator 2015. I arrived at the end of the Q&A. Boy was their some good zingers. One person asked “I actually play actual simulation games like Train Simulator and Flight Simulator. Who are you making fun of?” Another person asked why the objects change in size in Goat Simulator, and the creator said he was lazy and it only took one line of code to make objects change size dynamically. He said his game got a 62 on metacritic, and if you reviewed Goat Simulator you didn’t get the game. The World Record holder for the speedrun in Soda Drinker Pro gave Will his VHS speedrun tape. Walter Day refuses to acknowledge the fastest Soda Drinker Pro player in the world. Will Brierly believes we are in a simulation from the inside out in relation to Soda Drinker Pro.

At 2PM I went to the Universality of Videogame Music. Brett Elston was a panelist. I just made the cut off by 10 chairs. I sat way in the back. When Q&A open up. I sprinted to the front. It was like I was running 1000 mph while everyone stayed still, just so I could ask Brett Elston a question on what level does he appreciate the Muppets Party Cruise.

At 6PM I was with Alex, Willy, and Chris. Alex wanted to get some bumper from some person for the podcast and waited about 90 minutes. In that time Willy and I talked about games millions of other people love and we hate, and how we preferred the PAXses in the past compared to this one. We were becoming jaded fucktards. I said to Willy League of Legends is the Call of Duty of MOBAs. Regardless how popular Call of Duty is, 30 million people will not watch the livestream of the Call of Duty World Championships. They we talked about how much the show floor sucks. How come it is illegal for AAA publishers to show a game off before May? Willy brought up the reason Turbine is doing carnival games for Infinite Crisis is because no one would play the game. At the end Chris, Willy and I agreed that Bioshock Infinite was over rated. The art style gave it the 90+ metacritic. The multiple parallel universes is mindblowing if you never experience another form of media in your life.

Later that night was the what was left of the LaserTime meetup. Brett Elston the only one there 4 years later after the first. There was about 15 people there. Elston and chinspired had a conversation that would solve all the injustices of the world. Brett view on the 9/11 conspiracy was “WE CAN’T EVEN HIDE DLC? HOW IN THE WORLD CAN THEY COVER THAT UP?” Ted Rossi had grievances about Chris Antista and Henry Gilbert that he was lumped into the generic white winger group. He said “What do you think I’m crazy that I want a balance budget?” He said Brett was a libertarian and Brett said “NOOOOOOOO!” Ted Rossi could talk for hours on the 3 subjects of James Bond, Star Trek, and liberals. Ted brought up the reason California has marijuana is due to the state opposing Federal law, and it’s one sided to think States having their own legislation separate from federal law only benefits right white wingers. Everyone there wished that Mike Grimm was at PAX. Saturday Night the majority of the conversations were everything but videogames. After the meetup, Rich, Chris, and I went back to the apartment to sleep.

SUNDAY

Daylight Savings Time made the day move by faster. The first thing I did in the morning was go to the Gearbox Panel. I was expecting something awesome due to previous years of Gearbox panels. I was wrong. There was no voucher for the Handsome Collection. It was cool that Troy Baker was there. He is a fast talking joke guy. He is a good looking guy but he is part Benedict Cumberbatch eyes with some Bradley Cooper facial features.

After the Gearbox panel I went to Jamspace again to play on some instruments. I got to jam out with Doctor Ew and some random people that wanted to play some instruments. There was a guy that played Jonathan Coulton’s CodeMonkey I played Mr. Brightside on keys, while he sang it since he didn’t know the chords. He also sang along to All Star Smashmouth. A kid joked and said ”Play Wonderwall” and I did. After being at Jamspace for half an hour I went to the Wikia Qwizards Panel.

The Wikia Qwizards Panel was not that great. 50 people were picked out the crowd to be constants. No one had interest in raising their hands so I walked to the front of the line with my hand raised and got picked. The grand prize winner would get a NVIDIA GEFORCE GTX 960 with a 1 TB portable Hard Drive, with a 500MB wireless data carrier. The 5 runner ups would get 32 GB flash drives.

Instead of it being audience 95% of the Qwizards were directed to 3 superfan panelists who had 10,000 edits on their most visited gaming wikis. The one who was an “expert” on the JRPGS was maximum level douche with his sunglasses he wore inside the con. Man did we boo when the “expert” on Halo didn’t know that the Battle Rifle was first in Halo 2.  One of the contestants in front of me trashed those guys with such great insults. For a tiebraker of the superfans it was a back in forth of naming Pokemon, and you lose by saying an incorrect Pokemon or a Pokemon twice. It went on for about 60 names, and then it sounded like they were giving each other snooty insults. If Mike Grimm was there he would have kept that one funny asshole in check. The audience was only asked 6 questions. The 6 people that answered correctly had another question and the winner of that question competed in the final round. The question was “What device in Assassins Creed let’s people travel back in time?” The audience member answered right away and won the grand prize. The entire panel took less than 30 minutes. It was a lame panel.

After that I went back to Jamspace and saw the Bit Brigade. It was 2 people playing Super Mario Brothers 3 while accompanied by live instruments The Two Tones, since it was just drums and keyboard. Dom from Magfest was on the keys. The guy playing the game said this is a completely original idea while the Bit Brigade were present. Dom didn’t know any ice music, so he just played the Super Mario Bros Underground 1-2 theme.

The guy playing Mario sucked at Super Mario Brothers 3, so Dom just played the Death Jingle multiple times. Then Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Mortal Kombat theme was played through the playthrough of Super Mario Brothers 3. It was very funny and entertaining.

After the Jamspace, Rich, Chris, and I went to the show floor to meet with Alex before the convention was over. Chris gave Alex a Mega Man 25th Anniversary soundtrack which made Alex feel like he wasn’t worthy to receive the gift. Willy took his button and poked holes through his Condom Against Humanity and gave it to Rich. Willy and I laughed, and then Rich realized what happened.

In the main lobby when the show was clearing up, I got to congratulate Omeganaut ComicSeans for coming back to win in Pac Man Battle Royale. When he was coming down the escalator there was a crowd of 30 cheering him on.

When the convention center was closed, our group of 8 people migrated to the Westin hotel lobby where we spent the next 2 hours making bad puns. Every random person who I had a conversation with as in 3, who also been to multiple PAXses were disappointed in the show floor. Willy and I were not the only ones.

Monday

Monday morning I headed out to the airport. My flight was delayed for only 30 minutes. Waiting at the gate, I remembered flying out when PAX East 2013 was over an a old guy said “The show floor will be more interesting in the future since the new consoles will be coming out.” Man was that far from the truth. I had a fun time, but this felt like this could have been my last PAX East and or PAX. If anything on to MAGFEST14!

MAGFEST 2015

Thursday Morning

My flight to MAGFEST was at 11:00 AM. I woke up at the crack of 2:30 AM. I couldn’t go to bed so I got ready to leave to the Atlanta-Hartsfield airport at 4:30 AM.

Waiting at the gate for my plane I met 3 people going to MAGfest. Rietz, Rodrick, and June. Reitz was looking forward to seeing Yu Mizake due to his composing in the Tekken series. He also scored Ridge Racer and Katamari Damacy. He told me his highlight at work was blasting Tekken music. Then some white person would look in his direction. Just when they are about to tell him to turn the music down, they see a black guy with dreads menacing, and then the person walks away and goes about their business.

After arriving in the Reagan National Airport, I took the Metro station to my Aunt’s condo. She squeezed her hands on my cheeks like an overbearing mother telling how much she missed her nephew. We ate an excellent Mexican restaurant District Taco. Imagine a Moe’s, but all of their salsas and sauces are superior.


Friday Morning

 I woke up at 6AM, anxiously waiting to travel to National Harbor for MAGFest. I was the first of the group of 9 to arrive at MAGfest. I went inside the convention center. It was beautiful. You could see the Potomac River from the atrium. Inside the atrium there was a variety of trees and plants, and shops in the shape of Colonial houses. Alex called it “It’s what the outside should be. Inside.”

I got my MAGFest badge and said I was part of Sadboys2K14. I was expecting Sadboys2K14 to be on the label but it was not. The badges looked like a Tron disc. On the way back to the hotel I ran into Sarah. A classmate I went to high school with back in Iowa. The last time I saw her was at PAX East 2013 in Boston.

I saw Matt in the hotel lobby at the Hampton Inn. We greeted each other and then later I saw Christina.

Matt and I proceeded to browse MAGFest. The arcade area was packed. MAGFEST had the largest selection of free play machines I’ve seen at a gaming convention and I’ve been to PAX East and Prime. The size of the arcade was East + Prime arcade freeplay x 6. Besides over 300 arcade machines to play, there was dozens of computers hooked up to play old PC Games. They had 2 386 PC’s connected to play Doom II campaign co-op. 

Around 1PM, Kori, Mitch, and Rory arrived. Mitch was in his weird suit. Matt had two rooms, the 504 room was ready but the 1004 was not. Until then, I had my luggage in their room. At this time, Matt and Mitch were changing into their cosplay outfits. Mitch “teased” me in the loosest of terms that I was getting a dick show. Oh was he in for a treat later on at MAGFEST. 


We were hungry and we headed out for the Cadillac Ranch. A good Burger, sandwich, American type restaurant. I ate a BBQ Burger all my fries, and all of Flabslapper’s or whoever’s fries.

When waiting for Alex, Mela, and Jayson; Mitch, Christina, Kori, Rory, and I watched Maury. It was boring. The Mike Slocum commercials were 100% Tim and Eric. Mitch asked if I saw any of those commercials because he had a law office in Alabama and I said no because there is a super successful lawyer Alexander Shunnarah that owns almost 20% of all billboards in the state of Alabama. While watching boring TV, Matt was waiting in the hotel lobby checking the progress of the other room. We were wondering a scenario where Matt got mad and start beating up the fuck out of nerds.

When the room for the “sexless nerds” was ready, Alex Mela and Jayson arrived. We automatically thought Alex was already cosplaying as Ermac or a Mortal Kombat character due to the color configuration of his coat and his ninja balaclava. 

From 3 to 5 PM I walked around the convention center. I went to Jamspace only to be disappointed there was no keyboard/pianos. I saw the concert hall which was a giant ball room with 2 stages on opposite ends.

I saw Jayson and Kori waiting in line at the Game Grumps panel. Kori cosplayed as Vera from Final Fantasy tactics. Ears made her 6’7’’ making her easy to spot in a crowd. At the Jon Tron panel Jayson was saying some crazy shit making some people in front of us to turn around. LONk and his friend JuanTron. Jayson said his grandparents worked at Auschwitz Germany, I corrected him saying it was Auschwitz Poland. LONk did believe for a split second that story was true. During the lead up to the Q&A Jayson, Lenk, JuanTron, and I were brainstorming the worse possible questions to ask for the Q&A.  Jayson “Hey Jon Tron could you say this one line because women don’t like me because of my acne and feces. What’s the hottest meme? What’s the dank meme? Are you going to that cosplay orgy and what are you dressing up as?”

After the panel most of the group of nine met up by the fountains in the atrium. We later ran into Hector our server at The Cadillac Ranch and he asked to get a picture of Matt’s Casey Jones. After 9 PM, I tagged along with Matt and Christina to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tournament. Matt met up with a larger and beefier Casey Jones. We left due to seeing no progress on the TMNT tournament 15 minutes after it was suppose to start.

I went back with Matt to the hotel where we just chilled for 30 minutes and at 11PM he was getting old and said he needed some sleep so I went away.


Saturday morning

 I woke up early. Got some breakfast. Ate about 10 French toast sticks and 1 pork sausage patty that tasted funny. The first panel I went to was the Katamari Damacy panel. Featuring Yoshito Yano and Yu Miyake, the composers of the game. While waiting in line for the panel I reseen a person I met 2 hours earlier in the elevator at the Hampton Inn who traveled all the way to Iowa to come to MAGFEST. Also while waiting in line, I saw Emily Reese, who I’ve seen and been to her panels she hosted on Videogame Music Composers in PAX Prime 2012, East 2013, and Prime 2014. Before the Q&A started they played a little Q&A song. I was the first to ask a question. The question was “What inspired you to do the Q&A song?” They were inspired by the energy in the room and wanted to give something back. They were filled with joy and excitement, seeing hundreds of people to come to the panel because they love their music.

After the panel I went to the restroom only to arrive at the autograph area for it to be completely full. The most unorganized part of MAGfest was probably the autograph line. 

For lunch I ran into JuanTron and LONk and I suggested them to go to the Cadillac Ranch. They enjoyed it. During that time LONk talked how much he loved Modest Mouse, and love that their new album was only on vinyl and their youtube video of their new album is it being played on Vinyl. It then delved into that one fucked up friend in college that wanted to show you the grossest porn. Then he wondered about the craigslist cosplay orgy, wondering if his Link costume was enough. Which all he needed to do was make an exertion noise. After the meal we went our separate ways. Another topic that was brought up was if he got popularity to do panels he would have a lists of questions already answered and a rap air horn going off for horrible questions.

I tagged with Mitch, Rory, Kori, and Jayson to the Zaibatsu Best Friends Panel. Mitch and Rory got to ask their questions at the panel. Once again Jayson was brainstorming horrible questions like hottest meme right now, favorite meme, and dank meme.

After the Zaibatsu panel I followed along with Mitch Kori Rory Kelly and Eric to some restaurant and then we decided to settle on Potbellies. At first Subway, then the Oyster House, and then Potbellies. They have great sandwiches. Afterwards we went to the Peeps store where they had all the possible Peeps and Mike and Ikes products as possible. I tried 3 of the hottest Mike and Ikes. I didn’t feel anything the spice until 20 seconds later and it kicked in. Kori offered me her “white Gatorade” which turned out to be White Cherry Powerade. She lied, but she was more shocked that I remembered.   

After the Potbellies, I went to The Lonely Rolling Stars concert and Eric tagged along. They covered Katamari Damacy and some Persona. Some of their covers were very metally where they didn’t sound like Katamari.

For 45 minutes Eric and I chatted about the videogames. Like Alpha Protocol, the Bandai Wonderswan, the retardedness of the Vita, Mass Effect, Assassins Creed. Still to this day the ending of Mass Effect 3 still prevents us from replaying the game.

Sometime after that Eric and I parted ways. I tagged along with Mitch, Christina, Kori, and Matt to see Power Glove. Matt was thinking it was the 80’s PowerGlove of Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon but it was a metal cover band of 80’s and 90’s videogame music. It was super metally it no longer sounded like a cover. So much double bass pedal and guitar shredding. Matt left because he was old and the music was loud. Mitch during the concert grabbed me and I proceeded to hump him and make monkey noises. Later I grabbed Mitch and jumped up in the air.


Leaving the concert area I danced/jumped/ flailed limbs wildly to some music in the hallway to the point I thought I was going to throw up. There was a nice volunteer that gave me a bottle of water, and later saw me at the atrium and wondered if I was doing okay. I wasn’t. Anyway after taking it easy for 20 minutes I was ok.

Alex Mitch, and I embarked to get some alcohol to stay up late looking for any excuse. Unfortunately all the bars inside the Gaylord were closed after midnight. We proceeded to go to the Cadillac Ranch. There was a doorman not only requesting ID’s but also that we are 25. I was one week away from turning 25. Mitch said “We’re not trying to rent the Cadillac! Alex later suggested the guy wasn’t an employee but just wanted a conversation. Later Alex created a story, that it was his fault he didn’t fuck my mom sooner which is why we couldn’t go into the Cadillac Ranch. Afterwards we walked back to our hotel rooms around 1AM and went to sleep.

Sunday morning 

I ate breakfast early and the couples Mitch and Kori, Alex and Mela, and Matt, and Christina were going to spend the morning go to the Smithsonian museums. There was no panel I wanted to see Sunday morning, and I played a lot of arcade games on Saturday. 

Me being the single creep I was tagged along. Mela then said “Turbo why do you have to ruin everything!” I responded “Since when did I become Jayson?” The trip consisted of Alex and Matt joking back in forth about Dadslapper who tried to commit suicide but failed. In the process the shotgun dropped and both his legs were blown off. Matt told the taxi driver “How does it feel to have the worse people? Which taxi driver replied In order to have good you need to have bad. Anyway Matt invited the driver to look at the museums which he said he can’t because he has 6 kids. Which Mela told Alex she at least wants one kid. 

We arrived at the Smithsonian Castle where Alex started whispering at  joggers “What are you running from?” Mela went to slightly annoyed to more annoyed after the 4th instance. Alex made a joke about Obama sprinting which Mela and I correct him on Kenyans being long distance runners not sprinters. Otherwise southerners would say Obama sprint back to Jamaica. 

The first museum we went to was the Natural History Museum. Alex really wanted to see those Dinosaurs. Going to the Natural History reminded me back in Summer of 2007 when I went with my family and I just did a museum speed run. 

After the Natural History we split into groups to go to other museums. Kori, Mitch, and I went to the Air and Space Museum where we saw planes and rockets. All early flight with gliders and balloons was Bioshock Infinite. Mitch was impressed by my airplane and  NASA knowledge confirming in his mind that I know everything. Mitch would have stumped me if the questions involved eating ass.

The last museum we visited was the American History Museum. They messed up drawing Pac Man in the gift shop. We were all hungry and we wanted to eat burgers at Ollies. We walked for almost a mile only to find out the place was closed. We then decided to eat at DC Thai. 

When we got picked up by the Uber driver. While waiting on Kori and Mela picking up alcohol, there was a homeless man with really saggy pants which bothered the driver. If the butt was frozen soon the balls would freeze off. Alex and Matt joked about maybe his ass was so hot, every house he’s been in got burned down, and that’s why he sits on concrete. Alex thought of a scenario if he was offered a hot meal and tried to sell it to get money. Mela gave the homeless man $2 which Alex said was the tax of him being an asshole.

When we got back we did a RA tries of Edible Panties which were awful. It was plastic table cloths cheaper and more disposable than the the Dollar Store ones. It was shitty flavored trash bags and took forever to wash out. If someone ate an entire thing of edible panties they probably would have died of plastic poisoning and it would have taken days to rinse out their mouths.

An hour later I joined Alex, Matt, Mitch, and Kori for the Random Assault MAGFEST podcast. I read off my congratulatory roasts of Alex, Matt, Mitch, and the Random Assault show. I gave my gifts to Matt and Mitch. The end closed out a Cash Cash remix of Katy Perry’s Birthday. Mitch wondered how I knew he liked Cash Cash. 1. He mentioned it on Random Assault. 2. He follows Cash Cash on Twitter. Besides that nothing more needs to be said.

Monday morning 

I ate some breakfast and went to the arcade to play some games one last time. Some of the rhythm arcade games were packed up.  I said my goodbyes to Alex, Mela, Matt, Kori, Rory, Jayson and Mitch. Monday the MAGFest queue room area was removed to make space for the Window Blind Convention. The last thing I was going to see was the MAGFest Closing Ceremony just to check it out. Unfortunately it ended short. One of the attendees died in the Gaylord Hotel Sunday night. I later heard he banged his head on the bed board. Nothing was elaborated on alcohol or drugs in body. The panel only lasted 5 minutes. After that I walked to the bus stop to go back to my Aunt’s apartment.

One thing for sure, I’m going to MAGFEST 2016.